i saw a post appear on my timeline last night, asking how one would date a schizoid. the reply being,

"You would have to expect that you would forever live with a stranger. That every attempt at intimacy would be returned with superficiality, except for the occasional unguarded moment that would give you hope, but would immediately be retracted and followed by a period of greater distance. The only thing that could make me even less comfortable would be attempts to make me more comfortable."

i definitely used to be exactly this. now i am this but i am capable of not distancing myself entirely. but "masking", being someone completely different even to the people closest to you, is a very real...reality. sometimes it feels like a big piece of the puzzle of myself is missing to those around me. i think, everyone i know, thinks they know me. a lot of myself is masked, on purpose even, despite my complains about people not knowing the real me. i think the mix of me having a fear of truly revealing myself and a fear of me accidentally making people uncomfortable are just not a good combination at all.

it's funny to see me be characterised in such an inaccurate way because there are so much obvious flaws in peoples' way of thinking about me. some get very close to the truth, but then i can tell that they just don't know how to fill in the blanks. other people, however, just don't know how much of myself is fabricated, or masked; and i've fooled them into thinking they've got a real comprehensive view of me. that's funny... the things you gotta upkeep to look like an engaging person huh?

i feel like if you do not understand the complexities of szpd, then you fail to ever get close to grasping me as a person. most of why i wanted to create a library of information in my own time was initially to start compiling information about szpd in a way that is true to the people that have it. there is very little information on it, if any, that isn't so heavily medicalized. the depth of it is so large and it is the principal constituent for who i am as a person. without it, it is hard to know me at all. i do have other 'definitive' traits and characteristics aside from it, but it is a personality disorder, after all. it is who i am at a foundational level, and for every schizoid it is the same.

so, how do you date a schizoid? the reality is, you don't. you will never be a true couple in any sense of the word. you have to realise and come to the understanding that you are effectively seeing a stranger. a large portion of their personality and actions toward you are fabricated in order to keep your emotions and your relationships at bay (we don't have an easy time of saying 'no' or establishing boundaries for ourselves), the relationship will never be as close in their mind as you think it is, you will not get your happy ending. also if you do 'date,' it will probably end in a few months. their overall attitude to you, demeanour, and responses to the tiniest semblance of intimacy will be ones of hesitance, or just completely falsified to keep you happy and unconcerned. you will never know them.

you will be happier finding someone else.