idk
when i was young i decided i wouldn't have kids. it wasn't because of the reality of our world — how it's bitter and cold, merciless in its' wretched affairs — although i guess that would be a good reason. despite the sins committed on this planet i'm still assured my child would shine brightly. it was just a simple rationale: i didn't want to be economically impaired. it was hard not to find the idea unsavory growing up in a household that also faced financial burden. there are more reasons now. for starters, the potential damages caused by childbearing and needing to endure it for 9 months doesn't seem particularly enticing. the thought of labor appeals to me less. children are noisy, reckless and hard to control and i'm not sure i have the stamina or patience to keep up with that. it'd also be my duty to care for them and protect them, their souls rest in the palm of my hands and i'd be afraid of accidentally breaking something so fragile and malleable. the responsibility is daunting, and i don't think it's a role i'm the right person to bear. despite the biological responses that would ensure my love for it, i don't think i could ever have a little me.